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The quality of the relationship you have with your children has the power to influence the quality of your life. You won’t be living your best life, if you have a tumultuous, disconnected, toxic relationship with your children that’s in a constant state of struggle and conflict. A harmonious, peaceful relationship with your children on the other hand will bring you light and safe haven even when other aspects of your life are not that great.
Conscious parenting is simply about improving yourself for the benefit of your children. It centers around the idea that in order to be a better parent, you have to be willing to deconstruct your current belief system and go on a journey of self-improvement to allow your children to be their authentic selves by letting go of your pre-constructed ideas of what it means to be good or bad.
Speak to your children in a respectful manner
How you speak to your children is powerful – your words, tone, and volume will dictate whether or not your child feels safe and respected or threatened, intimidated and degraded.
Manage your expectations
Don’t project your own wants and needs onto your children. Your children are not always going to do what you want. Try to fight the need to mold them into who you want them to be and let them evolve on their own to give them the space they need to be who they are without making them feel like they failed you.
Give yourself 3 seconds
When you’re about to lose it because your child has done something wrong and you’re on the verge of exploding, take a deep breath , calm down and wait 3 seconds before responding. This should help you center yourself and put things in perspective.
Do not interrupt your child when he/she is speaking, no matter what. Listen to whatever he/she has to say and respond when he/she’s finished. Your child should feel that his/her words and thoughts are valid.
Teach your child not to be afraid of failure and making mistakes whenever he/she tackles new projects, because making mistakes is a pivotal part of learning and growing up.
Put healthy food on your Table
Your child often adapts your eating habits, that’s why you should be mindful of what you eat and put on your table. This will help both you and your child stay healthy and more at peace in the long run.
Make sure to say thank you to your child and be grateful for his contribution. Praise him/her whenever he/she does a good job, even if it’s something as simple as doing homework.
Talk to your child and ask them how their day went. If something went wrong, ask about it and let them describe how they felt. You should be a pillar of emotional support for your child.
Sharing responsibilities and duties creates a safe, loving, and positive environment in your family. Being a friend to your child is the key to conscious parenting.
Spend some time explaining to your child what their mistake was, then forgive. By doing so, they will feel your encouragement and positive energy and try not to repeat the same mistakes twice.
Create a routine
Creating an established routine is beneficial to kids. Routine helps them develop order in life and helps them rationalize their actions. Routines provide security for your children making them feel safe and comfortable.
Patience is a virtue. Your relationship with your kids will be centered around trust if you are patient with them. Remember they don’t have the life experience you have and they are not familiar with how life works just yet.
Don’t make decisions for them.
Give them time to make their own decisions, even if you know they are not the best, let them learn life lessons from their own bad decisions. You should understand their decision, and take them as they are.
Don’t be overly strict
Create rules and healthy boundaries, but also be able to relax them when necessary. Embrace flexibility, they should not be under constant pressure.
Try to limit the use of NO
You should try to limit the number of no’s you give your child. If you are constantly answering no to their requests, they will stop asking because they already know the answer.
Most parents feel guilty when trying to take some time off to do the things we enjoy. Try to let go of that feeling and recognize that you being happier and healthier will positively affect your child too.
Stop Yelling and Screaming
If your child does something wrong and you yell at him for that, it makes the situation worse, your high voice will become mundane to them and eventually they lose respect for you and won’t listen in the process.
Slapping your child, sending him to the quiet corner of the room, or giving out punishment of any form may be damaging. It creates resentment on the inside and makes your child more likely to repeat the same mistakes.
Create a loving and peaceful environment
Children absorb the good and the bad that surround them equally. By creating a positive, encouraging and safe environment for them to grow and learn, it will help them feel safe to learn and explore.
Model the behavior you want to see.
Children learn from what you do, whether consciously or unconsciously they model their parents’ behavior. Before you try to tell your child anything, show them through your actions and lead them by example.
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